Akatsuki Pirates from Unwritten
by Sagira Jalane
Summary: Captain Itachi is in Neverland with his crew to capture Sasuke. When he found out about his slave, chaos could only be started. These stories are funny upon how the Akatsuki act in a very high crazy rated story...


**The Akatsuki Pirates from Unwritten**

**I do not own the villians of Naruto or the show, X-BOX 360, Battleship game, Blondes, neither of Peterpan.**

_**Brief Note: **The akatsuki groups are pirates in the world of Neverland. From my other fanficition story called Unwritten, Naruto journeys to the place for a reason. The captain is Itachi. These are the background events of my story. Enjoy their random and sometimes a point in their adventure. Also it has a lot of cussing._

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**The Slave**

"Captain Itachi! Captain Itachi!" shouts someone on the lower deck of a huge black ship. He has on a orange and black stripe mask. His black cloak swings around with his movements. Winds brushes throughtly in his brown hair as he climbs up a fleet of steps. Once at top, he pants against the edge of the ship. "I'm here..."

Captain Itachi stares at the younger crew member with his red eyes. Everyone on his ship has a black cloak on with red clouds, even him. However, even he wishes for another type of garment on hot days like these weeks. Yet, they didn't have the money, nor did the people they rob, or killed too. Yet, the crew members didn't complain much. No, they HAVE to complain about something else... Yes, they have to complain about the little things. _Anyways, Tobi has news for me. Finally. I didn't get to hear before._

"TOBI!!!" yells someone angriy on the lower deck.

The brown hair boy shudders in his spot, while his head turns abruptly to the right. Through his one eye socket, he sees a long hair blonde clutching his fists in a tight hold. Tobi's voice shouts in excitement but it doesn't disquise his shaky tone, "Deidara-senpai! How are you doing?! Ha ha ha..."

Deidara begins to march up the stairs while stomping. It doesn't take long for Tobi to step away from the stairs.

_Great...This is what happened like before, when I didn't hear the message from Tobi with Kisame. Now, it happening again. I swear those bastards should just stay the hell away from each other! Fuck that! Maybe they should get close, so maybe one of them can beat the hell out of the other...Oh great. This is my favorite part...the confessions of who did what. Damn it! I really need to stop talking to myself. I'll lose a lot of fans this way!_

Captain Itachi walks around Deidara to go down on the lower decks to amuse himself. Meanwhile, Deidara pounds on his fist in front of a cornered Tobi. "Tobi..." echoes Deidara's low voice.

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Going below deck, Captain Itachi sees the rest of the crew near the cooking area. He can barely see a green man, which he presumes is Zetsu, inside, while the others are gathered in the door arguing. He stands there studying the situation before him. 

"You know! I really hate you bastrad!" shouts another blonde member.

Another guy in a mask replies, "Tell me something I don't know." The blonde member growls. Pulling out a sythe from no where, he points the object at the mask fellow's face.

The blonde threatens, "Oh yeah! Why don't you kill me bastard."

All of the Akatsuki pirates sighs and replies, "Because we can't kill you dumbass!" However, a few like the Captain left out the last word.

"Heh. I thought so!" He shurgs and pulls the death sythe away from everybody. There were a few good times, where Captain Itachi visiualizes the man accidentally breaking his annoying grim repear sythe. _Yeah the good times, or were they the bad? _He leaves the thought alone.

It's Kisame who notices the captain frist. "Captain Itachi! Zetsu is making our food right now, so we're waiting," says the blue man. He quite resembles to a shark out of all of the fishes in the ocean. The others turn to look at their quiet captain on the outside. In the inside, he talks confidently to himself.

_Good! Now I that I have their fricken attention, I can get my damn answer. It's a good thing I have a trained shark as my assitance. I mean, it's so fricken awesome! How many people own their own personal shark?! Ha! Beat that X-BOX 360 owners! Just because you guys get to own those flashy games and I can't, I can tell Kisame to bite your heads off. Plus I can sing "I'm blue da ba dee!" Ha!_

Meanwhile the crew starts another conversation as Captain Itachi talks to himself more.

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Captain Itachi slams the kitchen door open. It seems he had talked to himself so much that hours pass. Zetsu calls out, "What's going on!? Are we ship battling yet?!" Zetsu comes out another door inside the room. He's not wearing the normal cloak of red clouds, but a pair of pajamas. 

"..." Captain Itachi could have said a lot of things to him. _What the hell are you wearing?! I hope those are not ducks! I hate ducks! Actually I hate everyrhing! Where's the food?! I'm fricken starving here! When is the last time I came here? And most of all, WHO THE HELL IS THE SLAVE FOR SASUKE!!! _After all those thoughts, he just murmurs, "Food..."

Zetsu tosses something in his hand to the room he came out of. Muttering oh as his response to Itachi's very short comment. He heads for the pots and pans while Captain Itachi settles on a chair nearby. As he waits for something to eat, Zetsu's black voice speak, "Awww...damn. I wanted to say 'we sank your stupid batoom...'"

The white face corrects him, "It's we sank your battle ship, dumbass."

"Nobody asked you! Besides, cool people say 'we sank you stupid batoom!'" argues the other.

Captain Itachi counter these words in his mind. _IT'S I SANK YOUR DAMN SHIPS, BITCHES! Who in their right minds would say 'we sank your stupid batoom' or 'we sank your battle ship' anyways?! Plus what's with this 'I won' with Sasori. He didn't even sank haft of my battle ships amd he goes off saying, "I won." What blamely hell could he have won by!? Is it for shooting down my two point ship, THE BATOOM! Shit! He doesn't even have the sharigan technique...maybe he said "I1" like the number 1 instead of 'won'. Naw! That's where my big ship was. Anyways, he had another thing coming after I sent him my red eyes' glare. Ha! He didn't think I could do that, now did he? All I did was copy his moves tofind his ships. Stupid Idiot. _"..."

Zetsu's black face shouts, "So what about Sasuke's slave?"

"Well, I hear it's a blond, you know. He might be violent like Deidara and the other guy. That's gonna be bad for us, you know," remarks the other face.

"Damn, you're right. Maybe the blondes are getting tougher because of the blonde jokes."

"No way! Shit! You maybe right about this one. Oh well, we always have the burnettes...right Captain Itachi?"

"Hn." Captain Itachi tunes back in their conversation. He wonders what kind of slave Sasuke has. In fact, he believes the slave might be a white hair or something. He wishes for someone to give him some sort of a sign! However, what really bothers him is that Sasuke got a slave before him.

"Dude, I swear I heard Tobi saying he came from another world or something. What do you think of that?" asks the white face.

The black face yawns and replies, "Tobi says, the most fuckingest things! Hell! He could probably making up the slave shit!"

"Damn, you maybe right again!" answers back the white face.

Meanwhile Captain Itachi continues to think of Sasuke's slave. _Maybe the slave is a princess of this island. No, no, Sasuke is too flanboyett for that. Maybe his slave is a mermaid or another of those fairies. I think he is becoming more of a Link from Zelda now..._

Zetsu frys the pan and add more ingrediants to the meal. Both of the side faces continue their conversations. They were still talking about Sasuke's slave while Captain Itachi misses out on his signs. Zetsu's dark side announces out loud, "Tobi told me it's a guy! How could Sasuke be in love with another guy?! Here you go, Captain Itachi." He sets the plate in front of him, and Zetsu returns to his small room chamber.

Returning from his thoughts, Captain Itachi gives up on imagining his little brother's slave. "At least, someone should tell me the name of the slave..."

Deidara shouts from above deck in the sleeping chamber area. "Tobi! Stop talking about Naruto!!!"

_Must be Tobi's girl firend...not a bad meal from Zetsu, but I don't think this is real meat...from animals anyways..._

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**Okay...this is just one chapter. Like I said before...there was a lot of cussing so I hope you enjoyed it. I tried to make it entertaining as much as possible, or funny in other words. Any ideas could help, thanks.**

**Thankyou for all who have read this and please leave a comment! **


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